Sirius' Adventures in Babysitting
by baby-new-year
Summary: Sirius has to babysit a hyper 5 year old Nymphadora. Nothing good could come from that. After all, he has no idea what he's doing...
1. Chapter 1

Sirius awoke to the sound of an owl tapping outside the window. Pulling off the letter, he recognized his cousin Andromeda's handwriting. Finishing the letter, he started hyperventilating. She was asking him to babysit her five-year-old daughter; he had met her once, when she was only 6 months old, and it wasn't very enjoyable at all. She'd spit up on him, twice, and was going through a biting stage; he still had scars.

Shocking even himself, Sirius said yes. Only an hour after sending his reply via owl, Andromeda and her daughter, Nymphadora, Apperated into the entranceway of Number 12, Grimmauld Place. Sirius came in to greet them, and Nymphadora replied by kicking him in the shins.

Andromeda's smile faded as she reprimanded her daughter, who replied with a seemingly sweet, "okay, Mommy," but turned to Sirius and scowled. Andromeda turned to Sirius and said goodbye, then to Nymphadora with a sharp, "be good." Sirius doubted she would listen.

As soon as the door closed, Nymphadora turned to Sirius and said, "first of all, don't call me Nymphadora. My dad signed me up for karate, and I'm always ready to practice. Second of all, I'm not five, I'm five and a half. Third of all, my mom might not have mentioned this, but I'm allergic to broccoli."

Sirius' eyes widened. Surely the Andromeda he knew would have warned him if her daughter had any kind of allergies. Then he remembered how she was a metamorphmagus. "What happens?" he asked, with a doubting tone.

Nymphadora smiled and said, "I break out into hives. Big, huge orange ones!"

"So in other words, not a real allergy?"

"Fine, I'm only really allergic to bee stings."

Nymphadora frowned with the injustice of being able to eat broccoli. She vented her feelings by running around the house, screaming, "you can't catch me!" She quickly tripped over the troll-leg umbrella stand and promptly started to cry.

Sirius didn't know how to stop her from crying. He started to panic and found himself saying, "if you stop crying, I'll give you a cookie."

Nymphadora's face broke into a smile. "Yay!" she shrieked. "Cookie, cookie, cookie!"

Sirius scooped her up and carried her into the kitchen. He sat her down and handed her a chocolate chip cookie on a napkin. "Thank you," Nymphadora said sweetly, as she started to eat her cookie. Once she finished, she wiped some chocolate off her face and continued her circles around her house, this time with the sound effects of her shrieks. Matbe he shouldn't have given her sugar...


	2. Chapter 2

NOTE- I'm sorry I've been away for so long! Oh, and thanks to everyone for reading! :-)

***FLASHBACK***

Sirius, then four years old, was at a family reunion, the last place on earth he wanted to be. Even back then he knew his family was compiled of lunatics. Especially his twelve-year-old cousin, Bellatrix. Right now, she was eating a cupcake while standing on her head. Of course, that was an improvement to what she was doing moments ago, running around in circles while singing about unicorns...

Sirius blinked and became aware of his surroundings. Bellatrix was not there, neither was anyone else, except Nymphadora. Who was behaving exactly like Bellatrix did when she had any sugar at all. This was not good. If Sirius' memory was correct, which it was, Nymphadora is likely to go on a violent rampage, scream so shrilly that he couldn't even hear her when in dog form, and then explode stuff.

**KA-BOOM!**

And there was the explosion...


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius ran through the hallway, unsure of what to do. He soon saw Nymphadora running down the street, apparently trying to run away from something. He then saw what; the annoying cat who lived next door was chasing her, upset by the explosion she had caused in its front yard. Sirius seriously (A/n- bad pun, sorry!) regretted giving her sugar.

Changing into dog form, Sirius ran out the door and chased the now hissing and meowing cat away. Nymphadora giggled.

"You look like a pony, Uncle Sirius!" She then jumped on top of him, shouting, 'go, pony, go!"

Sighing, Sirius carried her inside, still in dog form. Changing back, he turned to her. In what he hoped was a patient voice, he said, "I'm a puppy, not a pony. Puppy's don't give pony rides."

"Well, then why did you just give me one?" she replied with a sassy edge to her voice.

Sighing once again, Sirius began to write a note.

Prongs,

SOS! SOS! Babysitting not going well. I need help!

-Padfoot


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius answered the door fifteen minutes later. Once he did, he pulled James, Lily, and Remus all into a hug. "You rescued me!" he gasped.

"Uh, actually, we came here to help you babysit your little neice. How hard can it be?" Lily said, slightly confused.

Sirius shook his head."You don't know Nymphadora!"

"I told you not to call me that!"

"Aww, she's so cute!" Lily squealed, causing Nymphadora to smile.

"Let's play princesses!" Nymphadora said, pulling on Lily's hand. "You can be Ariel!"

As Nymphadora pulled Lily into another room to play, Sirius sighed with relief. "That sshould occupy her for a while," he said, not knowing that he was wrong.

Nymphadora ran up behind him, and started pulling on his leg. "You and your friends have to play, too! Miss Lily is so nice! She pulled out some stuff from her purse, and we're doing makeovers! Uncle Sirius, I think you'd look good in blue eyeshadow!"

"No, no, I really won't!" Sirius protested. Then he felt Nymphadora's teeth sink into his hand. "What was that for?" he gasped.

Nymphadora rolled her eyes. "Well, isn't it obvious? I'm an angry piranha who will bite anyone who refuses to do as I say! Now, move it! All of you! It's makeover time!"


	5. Chapter 5

TWO HOURS LATER:

"Yay! All done, and you all look so pretty!" shreiked Nymphadora, smearing on the last bit of pink lipstick on Remus' face.

Lily laughed. "Yes, Nymphadora, they look lovely. You did a great jod."

Nymphadora smiled. "Thank you," she said. "And never, ever, ever call me that again!" She then took her anger out on Remus, who was distracted by trying to rub the goo off of his face, by crawling down on the floor and biting him on the ankle.

"Nymphadora!" Sirius shreiked, ignoring the protests at her name. "Why did you do that?"

'Why not? I know I broke the skin, and all, but it isn't like there will be any new scars! There was already one shaped like a bite mark. Why?"

After a few moments of hesatation, James started to gloss everything over. "Remus has a very naughty pet cat."

"But that doesn't excuse your behavior," Sirius scolded. "You still need to apologize."

"Oh, okay," groaned Nymphadora. "I'm sorry I competed with your cat. I have a question though. Does your cat have rabies? I found a chipmunk in our backyard, once. It had rabies, too. I wanted to keep it as a pet, but my parents wouldn't let me. I put it outside, and my dog found it. Now, it lives in my dog's tummy, happily ever after!

"That's, uh, interesting," Remus said. "And, no, my cat doesn't have rabies. At least I don't think it does. Does it, James?"

"Why are you asking him?" Nymphadora asked.

"Can you keep a secret? Remus asked. Nymphadora nodded, her pink hair flying in every direction possible. "Well, I don't have a cat. You see, James fell down the stairs at Hogwarts, and ever since then, he imagines that everyone has a cat."

"That sounds so cool!" Nymphadora said excitedly. "I'm going to see if that happens to me!" She then ran up the stairs and jumped off the top steps. "I can fly! Wait, no I can't. She then fell flat on her face at the bottom and screamed.

"Uh, did anyone else hear a snap?" James asked as Sirius and Remus rushed over to Nymphadora. It was Lily who took charge.

Lily bent down and started talking to Nymphadora, asking her to wiggle her fingers. After a moment, she whacked Sirius over the head with an umbrella from the troll-leg shaped stand Nymphadora had bumped into previously. "What kind of a babysitter are you?" she shouted. "You just let a five-year-old jump off a full-sized staircase!" She then pulled out her wand. "Come on. We have to make a Portkey." She then whispered into Sirius' ear. "Two things; one, when James have I have kids, you will not be their babysitter. Two, I'm pretty sure Andromeda won't be too happy when she finds out you let her daughter jump off a staircase, resulting in a trip to St. Mungo's because of a broken arm."


	6. Author's Note

**I just looked at the statistics for this story, and found out that this story surpassed 1,000 reads! Thanks a million, everyone! ****J**


	7. Chapter 6

A/N- Yes, I know that Draco wasn't born yet! Let's just pretend he was. Oh, and this is my last chapter. I had a blast writing this story, and thanks for all the reads and fabulous reviews.

TWO HOURS LATER

Andromeda met everyone at St. Mungo's. Nymphadora was fine after a minute, but that isn't to say that she didn't have some pent-up anger against Sirius.

"So, what id we learn today, Nymphadora?" Andromeda asked as she picked Nymphadora up to prevent her from kicking Sirius again.

"I learned that I can't fly, that Si rius has friends who hallucinate cats, and that you abd dad should have used a baby name book when you named me. Because i hate my name!"

Andromeda sighed; they had been over Nymphadora's name many times before.

"And Sirius? What did you learn?"

Sirius wiped one puffy red eye on the back of his hand. "That I am severely allergic to Lily's eyeliner. Oh, and to never agree to babysit ever again!"

"Are you sure about that?" Andromeda pursed her lips. "Because my younger sister, Narcissa? She needs a babysitter for tonight. I told her you agreed."

THAT NIGHT

"Nine-one-one, what's your emergency?"

Sirius cried into the telephone. "A tiny, one-year-old brat who has-" A fresh wave of tears broke out. "Permanant markers."


End file.
